Big Daddy

... please wake up!

Dear Reader,

Come in.

I know I’ve been away for a while, but I’m back!

Thank you for reaching out and checking on me, and if you didn’t, hey! I get it.

After my YouTube Music Recap, I saw Tems’ album suggested, and curiosity made me check it out. I mean, it’s been a while, and one song stood out to me.

Maybe because it had over a million plays, but the name felt audacious. It felt right, and after listening to “Big Daddy,” haha, I remembered many choices that I had made because this girl over here did not, in fact, understand that she is valuable.

Tems begins with three questions:

“Where were you? Where were you? What were you doing?”
It made me think of a number of things, but firstly, the importance of why we need to develop a healthy habit of confrontation. I think we let things go unspoken for far too long, and sometimes for no just cause. If you needed to hear this, this is a subtle reminder to have those hard conversations today or, preferably, tomorrow. Okay?

Another thought would be the question of why we settle for the bare minimum. Why? I understand that it is an inherent desire in mankind to be desired, to be seen, loved, and respected. But even then, what is it about crumbs and sparse affection that we so desperately cling to?

We are met with emptiness and unreciprocated effort, when not only deep down but with tangible receipts, we have poured out ourselves consistently only to again be let down.

It’s always interesting to me how people live with an entitlement mindset and yet, they avoid accountability like it’s the known routes of herdsmen, and they avoid responsibility like an albino avoids a blazing sun.

We see people living like Ornamental Baggage, and we have to ask: Where is our contribution? Why are we an empty ornament when the work demands a presence?

I’m not talking about perfection; I am talking about the minimal effort we see refused! Look outside; the streets are littered with men and women who have perfected the art of being a Total Liability.

They are the people who exist solely in the consumptive mode, demanding energy, occupying prime space, but generating nothing but noise and stress, if we get what I mean.

I’m talking about the times when we treat a “friend’s” life like a perpetually communal well; our bank account like their personal Manna from Heaven.

We are talking about the partner whose life mission is to be a decorative burden, demanding our sacrifice while their ambition remains dormant, collecting dust like a forgotten diploma on the shelf.

This is not love!

Look, if we are carrying a full-grown adult in our friendship or romantic relationship-if we are the ones constantly pouring out fuel into their leaking tank, yet they refuse to press the ignition-we are not showing compassion; we are guaranteeing our own burnout. We are not even showing mercy; we are enabling failure and all-around bad behavior.

Look, I won’t affirm we are the “Big Daddy” or the “Big Mummy” that God has “established.”

All I’m saying is, stop casting your pearls before swine who do not appreciate the value of your substance.

It’s one thing to serve a loved one in an extremely difficult situation; it is a whole different thing to be an enabler of bad habits, choices, and lifestyles.

If they are refusing to wake up, refusing to put their hand to the plow, and refusing to live a life worthy of the calling they have received, then we must apply the Kingdom Standard.

We are not required to drag a dead weight to the finish line, especially when that weight is a full-fledged adult with access to the same Holy Spirit that empowers us!